Storm Clouds Over Paradise
by Eagle Lord
Summary: This story is set right after Snape finds out about Remus being a werewolf back in school. The four friends are reflecting their feelings in poetry. Not as sappy as it sounds.


Disclaimer: I do not own any of this but my little story part and the poems. Well, I suppose that someone invented each of the words in the dictionary, so I don't even own that . . . Something to think about.  
  
Sirius slowly crossed the grounds at dusk. James has been shouting all day. Remus had gone quiet. Teachers had been shouting too. Peter had been kind of quiet like Remus, not knowing which side to chose. Sirius had only been trying to have some fun. Snivellus deserved what he got. He did feel a little bad, however. He had sent someone for Moony to kill, basically. Sirius never would have done that if he had been thinking. Moony would have felt so bad . . .   
  
Sirius thought again of all the things his friends had said to him that day. His own thoughts and feeling spilled over into them. It was confusing. What had he been thinking? But it had seemed right at the time. Friendship lasts forever and he had almost endangered that. What if he had? What if he was never as close to the others as before? James would get over it. They were like brothers and he had to. Remus, on the other hand, might never trust him again.   
  
Something Sirius would usually not do is turn to poetry. For some odd reason, a poem started to float into him mind. He formed the words carefully to keep him mind off the events.   
  
Never saw.  
  
Didn't look.  
  
Tempers raw.  
  
Risks I took.  
  
Didn't think.  
  
Missed the point.  
  
Didn't blink.  
  
Lived by joynt*.   
  
Lost my mind.  
  
Paid the price.  
  
Not unkind,  
  
Not too nice.  
  
Sorry now,  
  
For my friends.  
  
But somehow,  
  
This never ends.  
  
Full of anxiety, Sirius headed back up to the castle. He would make this right if it took him his entire life, but he would not change who he was.  
  
***  
  
James was shaking with anger, but at the same time he completely understood why Sirius had done what he had. James hated Snape as well. It was a good prank. If only it hadn't been Moony . . . Not only that, but Snape could have died and James didn't want that. He didn't want that for anyone, really. His feelings on that matter were the ones that were really bringing him apart from Sirius.  
  
After shouting himself hoarse James had retired to him dorm to write in his journal. He had nothing to write. All his feelings had been made quite clear to everyone. That was the way it usually was with James. His diary was hardly touched. He thought that he would have something to write that night, but no. James always spoke his feelings. He wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not.   
  
Pushing the diary away, James pulling out a blank piece of parchment. On it he wrote the following.   
  
When friends do wrong,   
  
What can you say?  
  
Friendship's strong.  
  
It can't go away.   
  
What do you do?  
  
Tell them the truth?  
  
But when you are through,  
  
What's left of youth?  
  
If you let it go,  
  
You're giving them space.  
  
Room to NOT know  
  
Saving their face.  
  
But what happens then?  
  
How will they learn?  
  
It happens again.  
  
Old problems return.  
  
What should I do?  
  
I should I know?  
  
I'll let him start anew.   
  
Padfoot will grow.  
  
Satisfied with the decision his writings had brought him to, James rolled over and closed his eyes.  
  
***  
  
Remus sat in the common room gazing at his homework. He had finished it hours ago, but he was lost in thought. The events that had occurred during the last twenty-four hours were slowly entering his mind but he was unclear still. Why had Sirius done that? Remus knew. Sirius was not a very clear thinker most of the time. It had been a mistake.   
  
Pulling his legs up to his chest, Remus sighed and thought some more. Now Snape knew his secret. What would that mean? He didn't have any idea, but he would get by. James was mad at Sirius and Peter, who usually went along with whatever they said, was torn. It would blow over, Remus knew, and they would be together again. But would they? He didn't even know how he felt about the matter, let alone what Sirius had to say. James had let very little by.   
  
Staring at the fire, Remus formed words in the embers.  
  
Friendship lasts for years,  
  
But it doesn't last through all.  
  
Fighting breaks it down.  
  
Standing towers fall.  
  
Sometimes people cry,   
  
Remembering the past.  
  
But everyone moves on.  
  
Nothing really lasts.  
  
We're nothing more than that.  
  
We can he torn apart.  
  
A soft spot can he found,  
  
And arrows pierce the heart.  
  
No one welcomes change,  
  
But change comes all the same.  
  
People break and split.  
  
Others are left lame.  
  
This may not be the end,  
  
But it could the start.  
  
No one sees we might not last.  
  
We are not unblemished art.  
  
I hope we stay this way,  
  
Friends no matter what,  
  
But this might not go away.  
  
The scab is pealed from the cut.  
  
Worried clouded Remus' mind as he continued to stare into the flames, slowly drifting off to sleep.  
  
***  
  
Peter sat alone in the library reading the closest book he could find. No one had taken the time that morning to explain what was happening to him, but he understood perfectly well. This was a hard time for Peter. As much as he hated to admit it, he usually let James and Sirius make the decisions for him. Now that they were really fighting for the first time in years, he wasn't sure what to do.  
  
As he jotted down an occasional note, Peter started to think and worry more than usual. Everything had always seemed to so clear . . . He wrote another note than started to write something else.  
  
What am I doing, alone with my heart?  
  
Do I remember the past?  
  
Am I just following, or am I part?  
  
Are my friends these ones that will last?  
  
Am I important, or am I just there?  
  
Do I really matter at all?  
  
They say I'm there friend, but what do they care?  
  
I'm not just little, I'm small.  
  
What did I do to get placed with these friends?  
  
What have I got left without James?  
  
After school's over, is that where this ends?  
  
I've no aspirations or aims.  
  
I won't think about it, that's what I'll do.  
  
I am a part of their plan.  
  
Who cares if this friendship lasts or is true?  
  
I'm part of them. That's what I am.  
  
Peter tore the paper in half and burnt it. He knew that they cared about him, what had he been thinking? He just hoped these problems blew over quickly.  
  
***  
  
Ok, I think that is where I'm going to end this one. It's pretty long, I know. I will write more of this story if anyone wants, but I'm not sure what should come next if I do. Ideas? Anyway, that's everything I wanted to say about this. If anyone needs any of the poems explained, just ask. I can e-mail you or post another chapter with explanations.   
  
* joynt - surname 


End file.
